Deflated but in the game

Last week, On Tuesday, October 24th, I did an FB live with the title Why I Believe Fortune Favours the Brave. It was intended to let people know exactly why that saying is so important to me, and why it is the inspiration for my business.

Well, about five minutes after the video was posted, I wanted to take it down. I was overcome with complete certainty that a) it sucked and b) I didn’t really say anything of value and c) what was the point of doing any of this? I mean, no one was even watching it live! And top it off, I had what Brené Brown calls a ‘vulnerability hangover’ - though I am not sure why as I really didn’t reveal that much about myself, contrary to my original intention of the video.

But as it turns out, I am really, really having a tough time putting myself out there. I thought it would be easier. I thought since I at least don’t have a fear of public speaking that I would be much more comfortable sharing tidbits about my life and business online. Nope. Turns out it is brutally hard for me. In fact, the whole reason I am putting this insight into a blog post is that I just couldn’t face doing another FB live video today (I am writing this the day after I posted the video I’m referring to). I feel too deflated and I am allowing myself a very minor, temporary pity party.

I am someone who likes people to think I have my shit together. And, in many ways, I do. I really do. But in some ways I don’t, just like the rest of the world. We all consciously know that even the most accomplished, successful people still have issues of course, but we can’t help wonder if we are more screwed up than them and have moments of ‘oh fuck, I don’t know what the hell I am doing’.

So, why didn’t I take the video down?

I took a deep breath and rationally looked at the situation.

While the video was not as illuminating as I would have liked, it was not horrible. And I did three things I am proud of:

I showed up.

I followed through with a goal.

I faced my fear of FB lives.

My ability to quickly put things in perspective is thanks to the coaches I have hired and the billion personal development books I have read. I was rationally able to reason with myself and see the positive side to this story. I was also able to be kind to myself. The night I did the video I was a definitely tired and honestly, not feeling a huge bolt of inspiration. So is it any wonder the video fell kinda flat? No, not at all.

Also, the fact is, I am a business, marketing, branding and design expert but I am NOT YET an online maven. I am NOT YET an FB live superstar. I am NOT YET a coach with decades of experience under my belt. I have a long, long way to go. And that is ok. In fact, it is more than ok. It is awesome. Because it means I have more juicy goals yet to accomplish, and each time I go for them I will be becoming a better coach, entrepreneur and person. I do, with all my heart, believe this to be true.

Thanks for hanging around for what will likely be a bumpy, badass ride.

To your brave success,
Alana